Not every voice deserves a seat at our table. So what do we do with the voices that create a cacophony of doubt? We must discern between feedback that forms us and voices that leave us empty. Not everyone deserves space in our spirit or the right to hold space in our lives. We are allowed to discern. We can ask ourselves whether we need to carry what others give us. Do our shoulders need to bear this? And perhaps the more important question is not only how we receive words, but how we give them. When we know our worth, it becomes easier to filter what truly matters and extend grace to ourselves and others. So, as we learn to discern and navigate, we become more attuned to the absolute truth of our worth. As we sort through the various noises, we uncover who we are and discover where our worth truly comes from.
When I was a young girl, my mom made the mistake of telling me I could do anything I put my mind to. She said it with such conviction, with such certainty, that I not only believed it, but I lived into it. So, any dream felt obtainable. Any goal seemed achievable. Every aspiration was within reach because I was reminded of my worth. I was told I was smart. I was told God loved me.
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. 30 And even the hairs of your head are all counted. So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows.
Matthew 10:29-31
And yet, how many times have we heard it ourselves? Or how many times has that little voice inside said the opposite? Creating a tug of war of worth and worthlessness. If we’re honest with ourselves, a lot of the time those are two sides of the same coin. Still, we tie our worth to what we produce, not only in our wombs but with our bodies. We place our worth in how we look and how we present ourselves to the world. We are our careers. We are motherhood. We are infertile. We are retired. Retirement brings a sense of loss because we wrap our identity into it. Again, we put our worth into what we produce. We get tangled up in others’ assumptions and pressures, and we forget who we are altogether. When someone else reflects on us, our value is not conditional. Once we believe and receive that we are worthy and loved, we understand; no other declarative statement needs to follow.
Across the tapestry of womanhood and generations of female forms, we have been told that our worth is tied to what we can produce, what we can achieve, and how we present ourselves to the world, and yet that is contrary to what worth is. Worth is dignity, worth is love, worth is acceptance. Our worth then becomes about our voice, how we see ourselves, our agency, and dignity as we stand in our personhood.
A woman’s worth is not inherited or achieved by what we do; we are already worthy. From the moment we were formed, our worth was present; there is no invisible labor required and no pressure to perform to earn it. Worth is freely given to every queen who calls herself She, Her, Woman. Together, we join the orchestra of women who have named their worth and created a flow of healing and liberation. We are not alone. We question, we struggle, and even at times we lower our heads in shame, yet God not only calls us worthy but deeply cares for each of us. We are loved beyond measure because God’s love is vast. We are seen, even when we feel the loneliest. Because even in the midst of the hordes of crowds, Jesus still felt his garment touched by us. We are intelligent, and whatever we put our minds to, we can succeed. Because when the people denied, and they hid behind locked doors, we went to the tomb and received the message. The dignity of women has long been etched into the tapestry of life. Woven into our crowns, reminding us of our purpose. Our names have been said on the lips of our Savior, and He held our hands and told us to get up from the tombs we thought would never open. We are worthy. Worthy of God’s love and to be loved. Worthy to be seen and held. Worthy to shine and deliver God’s messages that have been entrusted to us.
By discerning which voices to let in and remembering our God-given worth, we strengthen not only ourselves but also our community. We join the voices of a litany of women, not only in our familial lineage but in the orchestra of generations that have come before us and after us. We do not stand alone. We are uplifted and nourished.
We will face noise and critique, yes. We must filter those voices and stand firmly in our worth. Place that crown upon your head and remember who you are.
Discussion Questions:
- When did you first believe you were worthy? Did it come from the comforting voice of someone you knew or from within?
- Are there areas in your life where you’re still seeking outside validation? What might it look like to let go of that?
- What practices and ways can we remind ourselves of our worth? Of our purpose? And God’s plan for us?
Closing prayer:
Loving God. You saw us in crowds and healed us when our bodies hemorrhaged with pain. You sat at the wells of life and comforted us. You held our hand and prayed for us to rise from the grips of death. Continue to be with us when we feel lost and hold us when we need comforting. Amen.
Ralen M. Robinson is the pastor of Reformation Lutheran Church in Wichita, Kansas. She holds a doctorate in Homiletics and is passionate about preaching, community ministry, and leadership in the wider church. Ralen finds joy in helping people discover God’s presence in everyday life, meaningful conversation, and shared community.