by Meredith Harber
“But still the clever north wind was not satisfied. It spoke to Vianne of towns yet to be visited, friends in need yet to be discovered, battles yet to be fought. . .”
One of my favorite movies is Chocolat with Juliette Binoche and Johnny Depp. Not only is it about chocolate, as the name suggests, but it is also about a woman’s journey through understanding herself in time and space. She has this spiritual connection to the winds that blow, telling her when it is time to move. She gets to a new community, opens up her chocolate shop, teaches people the beauty of savoring these sweets, falls in love with the place, then eventually feels the wind blow to move and start all over again.
Vianne, played by Binoche, struggles when the wind blows and encourages her to move along, yet does so dutifully until she decides not to. You’ll have to watch the movie to find out why–this is BOLD Cafe, not IMDB.com!
But I’ve always resonated with Vianne, feeling called out of one community and into the next community, often by these unseen forces that beckon me to the next stage or the next chapter of my story. I’ve moved a lot since I graduated high school. After being born and raised in Pennsylvania, I spent a year in Bethlehem, Palestine, with the Young Adults in Global Mission (YAGM), as well as Chicago, Illinois; Rutherfordton, North Carolina; Pine Ridge, South Dakota; Oaks, Oklahoma; and now Soldotna, Alaska, where I serve as the pastor of Christ Lutheran Church (CLC). To say that I’ve felt the north wind calling is an understatement!
In 2021, I hit my four-year mark with the people of Christ Lutheran, and I found myself feeling agitated and unsettled. I loved my call and I loved my community–despite our long winters and deep darkness–but something was making me squirm a bit.
Through conversation with some friends and colleagues, as well as my amazing therapist, I realized that hitting four years with CLC was the longest that I have been anywhere since I graduated high school. In 15 years, I have lived in six states and two countries. Four years was a milestone.
It was time to move based on tradition and experiences. The north wind was calling! Or perhaps it is the south wind since Alaska is as far north as you can get. I still had cardboard boxes stored in my garage–the same boxes that have taken me across the world. I know how to pack my car to maximize the space–never underestimate under the seats and space-saver bags!
I know how to pack.
I know how to move.
I know how to start over in a new community, make new friends, find the new grocery store, get my mail forwarded, and all that comes with a new place.
But I didn’t want to move. I wanted to stay.
Sometimes, when we think about new beginnings or starting over, our minds immediately go to the times in which we’ve been like Vianne in her early days–packing up our stuff and physically leaving one place to start a new life in another place. We start a new job or move to a different town. Maybe we start a degree program or end a relationship.
But sometimes, the new beginning isn’t leaving; it’s staying. It’s resisting the urge to pack everything up and start over. It’s pushing back against the spirit of adventure, the desire to change, or the north wind. It’s weathering the storm that would make it easier to leave than to stay.
This brings me to an important point that may seem disjointed but needs to be said. Sometimes, you have to leave. You do not need to remain in unhealthy relationships, isolating communities, or toxic work environments. Blow spirit blow! Get out of that NOW!
What I am saying, though, is that if you are used to starting over when you get to a new place, what about starting over in the place you’re in right now? What about taking what you know and making it new without changing locations?
My favorite scripture passage to preach at weddings is the story of Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1). I make the joke that talking about dead husbands at a wedding (if it’s a wedding with at least one husband) is probably frowned upon. I love naming the power of friendship and connection, of rooting yourselves together, of “doing life” together–not just in a romantic way, but as people for the journey. While both Ruth and Naomi experienced big changes in their lives outside of their control, they ended up committing to a new life together.
Both Ruth and Naomi could have started life over as single women, not attached to the family member of the one they loved who has died. Instead, Ruth says her famous lines “Where you go, I go. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God.” Ruth and Naomi choose to enter into a new stage of their relationship–not only connected by their husbands, but through their choice. While tradition and culture would have suggested that both return to their families of origin, they choose to do life together.
Sometimes, the north wind calls.
Sometimes, the Spirit calls.
Sometimes, death calls or life calls or something unseen and unknown calls.
But each one of us gets to decide how we respond to that calling, and what we do when we stay.
But still the clever north wind was not satisfied. It spoke to Vianne of towns yet to be visited, friends in need yet to be discovered, battles yet to be fought. . .by someone else, next time.
Discussion questions:
1. Think of a time when you felt the calling to move into a new beginning. How did you know you were being called? What did it feel like?
2. Is there something that the wind is tugging at you about right now?
3. How might you make a new place where you are right now without going anywhere?
Closing prayer:
God of all, your wisdom has nudged us throughout our lives and the lives of those who have gone before us. Help us to sense when you are calling us into a new place, a new time, and a new way of being. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
The Rev. Meredith Harber is the pastor at Christ Lutheran Church, Soldotna, Alaska. Prior to attending seminary at the Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago, she spent a year with the ELCA Young Adults in Global Mission program in Bethlehem, Palestine. In her spare time, Pastor Meredith enjoys cooking tasty vegetarian food, photography, performing in community theatre, and spending time with her energetic and loving dogs, Jimmy and Ruthie.