Too often we resemble ostriches; if a situation doesn't affect us directly, we don't want to know about it and will pretend it will disappear on its own. This is a dangerous attitude! The sexploitation of God's children of all ages, in this country and around the world, is horrific; it is a very timely topic for you to address. It does indeed affect us all in one way or another — perhaps not directly in as one-on-one, but certainly in the "trickle down" effect. What was unacceptable behavior in years past is now tolerated by society as we have become immune or desensitized and allow our ethics and morals to be further eroded. it is ever so important for churches to address these issues, as we should be the voices of conscience in society. One further comment — the issue of gay & lesbian exploitation & pornography need to be addressed as well. Thank you for being willing to tackle tough topics!!
Nikky S., Phoenix, Ariz.

Dear Nikky S.,
Thanks for your comments. I think your reflections sum up well what we were hoping this issue would accomplish. Not only do we want to raise awareness, we hope readers will consider ways to get motivated to positive action.
Peace,
Nancy

What a timely article. No matter where you go you see how our children are being sexually exploited. Clothing and hurrying the children to grow up to
be adults.
Jeanette K. Fond du Lac, Wis.

Your message was right on the mark — it's high time to address the degrading of our young women and some men and children. I applaud Amy for beginning the Saving Kids program. Though I realize this issue is a response to the 2002 Triennial Convention, lest we forget, that a majority of sexual abuse is carried on right in our own homes with people we know. A former parishioner discovered that she was a victim of mother-daughter incest (which was triggered as she traveled to El Salvador and worked with victims of abuse. Linda C. came to terms thru agonizing years of therapy and has written her book entitled The Deepest Wound: How a Journey to El Salvador Led to Healing from Mother-Daughter Incest. After many years in the banking world, she is now implementing a program entitled Walking Together: Support for Survivors of Family Violence in conjunction with our local Samaritan Counseling Center, begun by a pastor and supported by the churches in our county.

Thank you for your very excellent article, I just needed to impress upon you that the dangers lurk behind the doors of our very own parishioners — the invisible wounds.
Name not available at time of posting, Lancaster, Pa.

Dear Reader,
Thank you for your comments to this issue of Café. Your recommendation will be passed along.

Just as a clarification, Amy is taking the director position in the ASK organization that was begun by Al Erickson.
Peace,
Nancy

I enjoyed the article on sexual exploitation, and feel that the church often encourages parents to teach their children to be ashamed of sex and their bodies. My parents were very anti-sex, and often invoked the church, the Bible, and God to promote this viewpoint, unfortunately. From their mistakes I learned how I one day want to teach my children, but perhaps I was one of the vulnerable.

I think that perhaps a next step in this process is showing the effects of this process. Personally, I work for a drug abuse treatment/research clinic, and one of the areas in which I work most closely is with pregnant opioid addicted women. The stories we've heard over the years are enough to break your heart. Prostitution, sexual exploitation, this is just a tiny part of the larger destruction that so many women engage in. So
often, people want to throw these people in jail and throw away the key. This, despite the fact that research has demonstrated numerous times that treatment works, incarceration doesn't. We need to open non-addicted peoples' minds to the issues and problems that go along with this. Thanks for the article.
Jenna S., Baltimore Md.

When my own children were growing up they were able to bring friends to our house. The adolescent and teen age children who came to the house were very willing to speak to my husband who openly discussed sexual questions with them. The primary reason that they discussed this topic with him was reflected in their words: "I can't talk to my parents about sex." Where is the church going to educate parents to talk to their children?
Lillian S., Los Angeles, Calif.

Dear Lillian S.,
Thank you for your thoughtful and insightful comments. I believe the sentiment you express is one I expect we will hear from many. This is one of the driving reasons we selected this topic for Café, to give readers permission to start conversations.

The ELCA in general is actually trying to do much the same thing. The church is currently engaged in a three year study on sexuality has tried to open doors to honest conversation among families, congregations, and communities. It has not always been an easy conversation, but as you express, it is so vital. If you have not explored the ELCA's web site, I encourage you to do so.
Peace,
Nancy

It seems to me that we ought to educate the men (and I suppose women) who buy these services as well as the young folks selling.
Barbara V., Kure Beach, N.C.

Dear Barbara V.,
Thanks for your comments. We agree! As the author mentioned, the "john school" (an educational format to enlighten people accused of involvement in purchasing such services who had been intercepted by law officers) has proven to be a successful tool. It certainly seems as though that is a good idea for those already involved.

I think we can all agree, though, that prevention — largely through good education of all people — is the best approach. Imagine if the demand for the industry went away! So many lives would have the potential for being positively affected. I think it goes back to the clear image that we are a reflection of God, and we are to respect our bodies as well as others.

Peace,
Nancy

I thought this message was very important for today's world. I am an old woman (77) with 11 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren, and I shudder to think of things they may be faced with as they travel on into life. I wish I could be somehow involved in doing something — ANYTHING — that could help. Not only for my own, but for the many children and young people who need it, and maybe have little support from home. Ii am a writer (not famous) but have influenced a lot of readers through a weekly column that I write (and have for almost 35 years). If there is any information that I could include in my column, I would be happy to do so. I am constantly seeking ways to serve Jesus and people. If this is such an opportunity, please let me know.
Ina M., Ellsworth, Wis.

Dear Ina M.,
Thank you for your thoughtful and loving response to this issue of Café. I was moved when I read your message. Your genuine concern for others is heartwarming. Thank you for taking the next step in that concern, and helping us to help others.

I have forwarded your message to the author of this article. I am certain she can help provide information on this subject that would be useful in your article.
Peace,
Nancy G.

I don't think that our culture does a very good job of talking about sexuality. Last week's New York Times Magazine cover article was about precisely this topic — and how it affects teens today. I'm 31 and am a bit surprised at the changes that have happened since I was in high school. (And I thought it was bad when I was in high school!). But the article talks about the casual way kids approach sex, without thought to the emotional and, I would add, spiritual) consequences to "hooking up." (Hooking up is setting up meetings by texting or IMing someone, often for casual, oral sex.) I think our reluctance to talk frankly and openly about sex only adds fuel to the fire of sexual exploitation in our country today. It's a serious problem, and one that our churches don't do enough to address.
Alycia E., Austin, Texas

Dear Alycia E.,
Thank you for your thoughtful and insightful comments. We agree! We all need to do more. A great place to start is in our homes and in our churches.

Certainly sex is not a new topic, but the casual attitudes about it seemed to have reached new heights. How can we prepare our children to deal with this effectively? Conversation — open and honest —has to happen. Children need to know who they can come to with their questions and that they'll get answers that will help them in their lives with today's questions. They need to know that people who love and care for them will help them find their way through the quagmire of angst-filled youth. We have to teach them how to make good decisions. When you know someone loves you enough to talk about the tough stuff, that goes a long way.
Peace,
Nancy

Give us a piece of your mind — Put your two cents into this issue’s Tip Jar.

To get the Tip Jar started, we offer feedback from a select group of test readers who were sent an early copy of the issue as the layout was being developed. We thank these individuals for their willingness to read and respond to Café. To show our thanks, we have sent each of them a special Café thank you gift.

Would you like to be considered to be a part of the test reader pool for future issues of Café? If so, please email us at cafe@elca.org , attention Ceciley. A group of approximately 10 individuals per issue will be selected at random from all who respond.

I thought the article was well written. It didn't seem to have enough hard facts in it. Sometimes we need to be shocked into action. Maybe a graph of prostitution statistics? (I'm a visual reader.) I didn't think the comments from the author comparing herself to the victims was particularly helpful. This is a very important issue, and I'm glad you addressed it.
Danette G. Prior Lake, MN

Dear Danette G.,

Thank you for your feedback. It is always good for us to see the article through other reader's eyes. It is our hope that you will enjoy the final issue of Café once it is posted. There are many other links and resources included, especially in the Internet Café portion.

Interestingly, what worked really well for another reader (the comparison you mention) did not work well for you! That is the way it goes, though.

We were not able to pull together a graph such as you mention in time for the posting date, but if nothing else, I love that idea for a future topic. I think you really highlight a need to be more aware of the visual readers.

Your feedback has been very helpful.

Peace,
Nancy G.

My overall impression is that I am intrigued and would be interested to hear from a speaker from ASK at my church or at a retreat as a focus group. Is there someone in CA that I could contact?
Nancy H., Gilroy, CA.

Dear Nancy H.,

Thanks for your comments. We love it when folks get intrigued! It is our hope that you'll share your enthusiasm about this issue of Café with others.

Regarding your speaker question, I suggest you contact the ASK offices directly. There are also a number of other organizations that are included in the Internet Café portion that will be part of the final version of this issue of Café. Perhaps it is best if you wait another week when the final version is posted so you can check all the possible resources.

Thanks for your input.

Peace,
Nancy G.