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"I'm going to look fat
in my bathing suit! I don’t even
know if I can go to the beach!” declared my college roommate
late one evening during our freshman year. She was packing
for spring break in Hawaii.
“You’re so skinny, you’ll
look great,” I said sleepily from my bunk.
“I do look bad in my suit and
I am going to prove it to you!” With no further discussion,
she got her bikini out of the suitcase and put it on.
Grabbing the minuscule bit of thigh she could manage to
pinch, she looked up at me triumphantly and said, “There!
See this chunky, cellulite thigh? Just what am I going to do
about this?”
“You have no thigh at all,
missy!” I was leaping out of bed now and heading toward my
dresser. “I have colossal thighs compared to you, and I can
prove it.” With that, I dug out my swimsuit, put it on, and
said, “How would you like to go to Hawaii with these thighs?
You have got nothing to complain about.”
Just
then, our third roommate returned from the bathroom. Finding
the two of us standing in our bathing suits in midwinter at
11:30 at night came as a great shock to her, but when she
understood the nature of our argument, she piped in with a
claim of her own. “I have bigger thighs than either of
you, so I have the authority to demand that you change out of
those ridiculous suits and go to bed.” We all threw our
heads back in laughter and decided to take pictures to
preserve this hilarious roommate bonding moment.
Alas, this is a typical way
that women bond these days. We proclaim that our physical
flaws are worse than those of our friends or else we
commiserate about the things we all hate about our bodies.
It
is no surprise that we do this. We’ve been totally programmed to
do so by the barrage of media images that feed us a steady
diet of unrealistic pictures of women. The images we see,
particularly in advertising, feature women who are beautiful
and well below average in weight. They’ve been completely
altered by hairstylists, make-up artists, and fashion
designers, then lit perfectly and photographed by
experienced professionals. And if that’s not enough, the
images are digitally edited. Virtually no advertising image
today is free of such editing. The finished product is
completely unreal. Supermodel
Cindy Crawford is quoted to have said, “Even I don’t
wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.”
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We’re smart women. We know these
media images are false. We know that’s not what real women
look like, that this brand of beauty is unattainable. Even
so, the image of the “perfect” female figure is so pervasive
that we can hardly help but internalize this ideal. We find
ourselves forever at odds with our bodies because we simply
cannot meet that standard of perfection.
This ideal, in fact, is oppressive and dangerous to us.
According to researchers, repeated exposure to this ideal is
linked to depression, loss of self-esteem, and the
development of unhealthy eating habits. About 90 percent of
women overestimate their body size. Apparently, we have lost
the ability to perceive ourselves as we really are. So we
diet or complain about the need to be on a diet even though
95 percent of diets fail and can lead to eating disorders
and other health problems. Nevertheless, the diet industry
has grown to more than a whopping $46 billion a year and is
projected to reach more than $61 billion by 2008. Can you
imagine the good that could be done with $61 billion if it
were spent on worthy projects?
The startling statistics go on and on. Clinical psychologist
Margo Maine sums it up by saying that “most women in
westernized cultures are waging war against their natural
bodies.” Waging war?
This certainly can’t be what the
God of Peace intends for us. We were created in God’s image,
weren’t we? Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit,
aren’t they? So if we hate our bodies, as our culture’s
media encourages us to do, does that mean we hate God? Is
that like saying, “God, your creation isn’t good enough. I’d
love you more if I looked better in a miniskirt?"
I have lectured and led workshops on this topic for several
years now, and I’ve come to the conclusion that body image
is a faith issue. As Christians, we believe that God has
made us. Our bodies are gifts — blessings that are designed
to bless others, not commodities to be forced into the
media's and culture’s narrow ideal of feminine beauty. As a
matter of faith, it is imperative that we make peace with
our bodies, that we actively reject this destructive ideal,
and embrace ourselves as unconditionally as God does.
Admittedly, this is easier
said than done. In a society where
80 percent
of women are unhappy with their bodies, it is truly a
revolutionary act to love our bodies as they are. Yet it is
an act that we as women of faith must endeavor to
accomplish. Here are a few suggestions for how to begin. I
hope you’ll add your own by submitting them to the
Tip Jar.
•
 affirmations
We have several conversations with
ourselves every day. What we say to ourselves has more
impact than what anyone else says to us, purely because
we’re the ones doing most of the talking. Reciting
affirmations is way of being intentional with our positive
self talk. Write down a list of wonderful things about your
body and yourself, such as “I am healthy and strong” or “I
love my body — it is totally unique” and say them aloud each
day. Eventually your negative self talk can be silenced as
you create new, healthier habits.
•  to positive body talk
with others
Next time another woman complains about some part of her
body, resist the temptation to join in with a complaint of
your own, and I definitely don’t recommend donning your
bathing suit to demonstrate your “imperfections.” Instead,
commit to affirming her and yourself. This may come us a
shock to your friends, but eventually they’ll find it
refreshing. Perhaps you can create new bonding rituals that
don’t involve criticism.
•
 media exposure and
analyze it critically
Countless studies have linked media exposure and lower
self-esteem. Limiting our intake is important, but unless we
live a secluded life, we cannot avoid the media altogether.
We must learn to be critical consumers, carefully monitoring
what we accept and what we reject.
•  to Scripture
Nowhere in Scripture does it say that we ought to look like
supermodels. The Bible affirms us as whole people — body, mind,
and spirit — called to use all that we are to do God’s will.
Our appearance not a vital issue to God. As we seek to
make peace with our bodies, let’s invite Scripture to focus us
on the things that truly matter.
Christians have always been
countercultural. It’s time that we use this heritage in
matters of body image and self-esteem. Let’s reject our
culture's norms of beauty that we may embrace our true beauty
as daughters of God.
The Rev. Laura Gentry is serving
in two
ELCA congregations in northeast Iowa. She
is the creator of “Seen but Rarely Heard: Voices of
Adolescent Girls," a traveling art exhibit of life-size
paintings that explore the inner lives of teen girls. Laura
and her husband, William, have just released their debut
book, Living Word. For more information, visit
www.thegentryjoint.com.
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Making
peace with our bodies
