Forgiveness for Good (continued)
by Emily Hansen
 

It’s a no-brainer. Forgiveness, a simple enough concept, can significantly improve our health. If that’s true, if forgiveness is beneficial, why does it feel like such a difficult task?

Truly forgiving is harder than it seems. In fact, I take comfort in knowing that forgiveness is not an easy assignment for anyone. Thomas G. Long, professor of preaching at Candler School of Theology at Emory University, writes, “It (forgiveness) goes against almost every human instinct, every emotional impulse. Forgiveness is rare because it is very hard to do.”  Dr. Edward M. Hallowell, psychiatrist at Harvard University and author of the book Dare to Forgive, agrees and writes that we have a tendency to seek revenge and the redress of injustice. Forgiveness has to be cultivated because it’s a process, not a one-time decision.

There is a misconception that forgiveness is a quick fix for any wrongdoing done to you. But ultimately, part of the purpose I have found in forgiving is so we may let go of our own suffering. As I think about my own life the past few years, I know that coming to terms with the circumstances surrounding my father’s death is less about others and instead about my need to move on with my own life. I view the process of forgiveness differently now. I have accepted that it’s not only hard to do, but that there is an inherently selfish nature to forgiving because in the end, we need to feel better about ourselves so we can lead a healthier life.



Professor Holmgren writes these powerful words in her article “Forgiveness and Self-Respect” about the benefits of reaching a state of genuine forgiveness. “Every step we take towards forgiveness should increase our self-respect. By letting go of my grief and resentment, I opened up space for a whole range of positive emotions which I experience on a regular basis…increased self-esteem is the inevitable consequence of my feeling good and being able to devote all of my attention to the positive aspects of my life.” We need to dispel the myth that forgiveness is necessarily for others. Sometimes, it should be for our own wellbeing.

As I reflect on my experiences with forgiveness, I know that it is a process shared by all those around me. All of us have been faced with the decision to forgive someone we care about or maybe someone who is a stranger to us. And I know these instances will arise again throughout my life and I will remind myself to do all I can to live a healthier life. Forgiveness is no longer a term, a fleeting thought, or even just a “hot topic." Forgiveness is now a movement around the world, and on August 7, we will celebrate International Forgiveness Day, initiated by the Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance. This alliance is a non-denominational organization whose mission is to “promote forgiveness as a way of creating a safer, more joyful, and peaceful world.” It is a day created for people in all walks of life to encourage forgiveness as a means of contributing to “better health, a more real and lasting sense of self-worth and purpose, and a more heightened feeling of freedom, joy, and laughter on a daily basis.” So, mark your calendar. That really does sound wonderful, doesn’t it?

Emily Hansen is associate for programs, Women of the ELCA. She and her husband Kevin are parents of two-year-old Aidan John.

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Followers of Christ washed with forgiveness and fed with forgiveness, even as we are sinners, cannot and will not refuse it to another. No one was denied Christ’s table. He had a reputation for eating with sinners and prostitutes. We take our cues about who is welcome at Christ’s table of forgiveness from the One who is the host. Jesus consistently moved his table beyond the boundaries and lines of purity, righteousness, and acceptability. We who eat at that same table, who kneel to receive strength for our own personal forgiveness, are called to rise and look honestly at the sin of our corporate life, of the system of “how things are.” We are connected to the larger world at the table of Christ.


The forgiveness we receive compels us beyond our own hurts and fears into significant realities of the world's pain, injustice, and sin. Christ’s gift of freedom means that our sin does not define us. Sin does not have the last word! Forgiven followers of Jesus go where Jesus went. Regularly practicing our sacraments of baptism and eating at the table of life gives us the power to forgive. When we find that source, we move beyond the walls the world erects and break them down through our acts of genuine, hard, gritty forgiveness. We become freed people who free the world!

The Rev. AmyJo Mattheis is currently an ELCA pastor serving in Stockton, California. Her first call was in the New York Metropolitan Synod, where she served with her husband, the Rev. Peter Holmquist. They work together both as pastors and parents; their three children are Elias, Zoe, and Quinn.