Forgiveness for Good
by Emily Hansen
 

One month from now, I will sit and watch as my mother asks for understanding and forgiveness, not from a family member or a friend, but from the state of Iowa. The Iowa Board of Parole is a group of five people who have been given the incredible power to decide whether my own beloved mother has served her time in prison and whether she deserves to be released back into society. Who are these five strangers and what right do they have to grant mercy and forgiveness?

The concept of forgiveness can be all-consuming, and I view forgiveness as something that is also incredibly private. I love my mother, as does my family, as do our friends. We have mourned her circumstances and we wait anxiously for the end of her imprisonment. As I now contemplate what we hope will be a day of clemency for my mother, I think back on the past three years and I realize how much of my life has been consumed with notions of forgiveness. Have I forgiven my parents for leading our family into such a dark place of sadness and for the circumstances that led to my father’s death? Have I forgiven the police officers who took deceitful advantage of my mother’s words, and the court, whom I believe judged my mother more on her social status than on the honest reality of her life?

There is no doubt that my daily life and my physical health have been affected by my emotions surrounding these questions of forgiveness. When feelings of anger, sadness, and yes, sometimes even vengeance have crept into my body and mind, I ultimately come to the realization that my feelings of unforgiveness may only be hurting me.

When we ask God for true and lasting absolution of our sins, that forgiveness is given regardless of our deserving it. We have all asked God for forgiveness, even in the midst of worry that God’s love for us may falter. Reading the petitions in Psalm 85, I recognize the pleas for forgiveness and love as ones that we have asked of one another.

Even when the faithful doubt God’s forgiveness, it is surely present. Therefore, should I not also put away my anger and indignation toward others so there may be relief? God shows us mercy, and aren’t we expected to follow that example?

So how can I show true forgiveness of another, and if that is possible, how do I know it will last? And when, in this goal-driven society, is our “deadline” for deciding to forgive? What possible purpose would it serve if I decide not to forgive? But more importantly, what benefit is there for me if I release that resentment and bitterness in order to move on with my life?

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Sin is the source of our wounds, and forgiveness is the balm that heals. As a Christian raised in the Lutheran tradition, I believe that our baptism is at the center of how we interact with the violence and brokenness of sin.

Baptism changes the way we see the world because baptism gives us all the forgiveness we will ever need, the very moment we are touched by the water. That’s a profound statement for Lutherans who are baptized as infants. God pours out unending grace and forgiveness before we have chosen wrong, and without our knowing what we will choose to do over the course of our lives. We are cleansed with the waters of forgiveness that promise we need not purify ourselves again. “We are born children of a fallen humanity; in baptism we are reborn children of God and inheritors of eternal life.” Baptism does not mean we live outside the reality of sin. Baptism means we live as already forgiven sinners.
I completed four months of my seminary internship in the holy city of Jerusalem. My husband and I left eight months early due to an experience of severe pain and brokenness we encountered there. Anger raged inside me for what seemed like endless weeks and months. I knew intellectually I needed to forgive those who had wronged me, but my heart was overshadowed with hate.

As a baptized child of God, I had all the forgiveness I would need for my own wrongdoings. I was now confronted with living as a person of forgiveness in the middle of the gritty reality of sin. How does a baptized disciple of Christ live forgiveness?

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