Mama, Mami, Mom, the Lady, La Vieja, and Abuelita are the names that I have called my mother over the years.
When I was a child, she was always there for me, and I came not only to appreciate that, but to expect it. She was my secure resting place. When I skinned my knee at age 6, no one could console me until Mama came. During my pre-teen angst, no one understood me like Mami. So it was only logical that during my college years, when faced with the consequences of poor choices, it was with Mom that I found a place to recover, regroup, and return to the world. That was when I met the Lady, as my mother was nursing a wounded heart, just like me.

Our Mary and Elizabeth moment
God blessed us that summer with each other. Each of us had reached a turning point in our lives and had to decide how to let go of the past and move into the future. It was our sisterhood moment, like Mary and Elizabeth (Luke 1:56) or Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1:15-18) or the women who followed Jesus (Luke 23:49). We bonded over our common need and it changed our relationship. Suddenly, I began to see how she needed me as much as I needed her.

 

Priscilla and her mom, Gaudi.

  

The arrival of nieces and nephews, a husband, and children of my own, revealed an aging woman in our midst. La Vieja, the older woman, needed my siblings and me to come to her aid in the garden, or to help with the heavy home projects. As I ran to Home Depot to pick up the 40-pound bags of mulch La Vieja needed every spring and fall, I thought of Ruth gleaning the fields to provide for herself and her mother-in-law (Ruth 2:2). The children call her Abuelita, grandmother. As time passed and dementia set in, I became her protector and caretaker. But make no mistake about it, Mama was still in charge.

Losing my footing
Then I received the call that shook the foundation of my world. “She’s unconscious. What do you want us to do?” The reality of being my mother’s medical power of attorney with a “DNR” (Do Not Resuscitate) order came crashing into my world. At the hospital, the woman who lay in the bed was a shadow of the person who I had counted on, called upon, and consulted with in every critical life decision I ever made. I was faced now with huge decisions, but she was not able to counsel me. All I wanted was for her to wake up and pray with me. I longed for God to speak to me through her wise, inspired words. But that was no longer possible.

I had to listen and hear God speak about her, no longer through her. And in that still quiet moment I prayed and waited for God to tell me what to do. I suddenly found myself at the foot of the cross with Christ calling upon me to care for his mother, my mother. The hospital staff needed her name. Mom, the Lady, and Abuelita, no longer would suffice. I had to let her become a person separate from me in order to be who she needed me to be.

The reversal
My mother, Gaudi, made it through that incident, and I know now that our roles have completely reversed. When I was born, God gave my life to her care, to steward and manage until I could do it for myself. Now, as she loses the ability to care for herself, I have been gifted with the opportunity to be steward for her life. Stewardship is the gift of the parent-child relationship.

How is God be calling or challenging you to see new dimensions in your relationships with your parents/elders?

Priscilla Austin has been director of youth and family ministries at Our Savior’s Lutheran Church, Burbank, Ill., Metro-Chicago Lutheran Youth Organization (LYO) board advisor, and will be intern pastor at Mount of Olives Evangelical Lutheran Church, Phoenix, Ariz.




   
 

Janelle and her mom at the Triennial Gathering, 2008 in Salt Lake City, Utah

  
     
 

 
 

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"It had only been three weeks since my surgery. At age 32 I had just gone through a total knee replacement but I wasn't going to let that keep me from attending the Women of the ELCA Triennial Gathering. I got help at the airport to get from Chicago to Salt Lake City.

My mom flew in from Houston to meet me there and help push the wheelchair I would need all week to get around. This was the first time my mom and I had ever done anything like this, and it was wonderful for us to be in this large conference center with hundreds of other women of all ages.

I was impressed the worship services were so diverse with a variety of songs and styles. The talk by Sister Joan Chittister and the book signing was certainly one of the highlights, as she spoke to our hearts as women and challenged us in our role in peacemaking. I stopped by the Chocolate Lounge to see the other young adults who had made the trip. With chocolate-covered strawberries in hand and a fair trade chocolate gift bag, we got to know other 20-and 30-somethings.

My hope is that we can continue to draw in young women and women of all ages to this table of conversation about how to be the church, and that we can strengthen one another through these Gatherings to be bold women of God."

—Pastor Janelle Rozek Hooper


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Visit the study page for ideas for discussion and further reflection.

I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that lived first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, lives in you. (2 Timothy 1:5)

Growing up in my family, we prayed at bedtime and attended worship and Sunday school every weekend. We extended Christ’s love to our neighbors in helping resettle refugees, and in many other ways practiced the faith we received as a gift through Holy Baptism. None of these things were optional activities in our household.

I must confess that I was not always the most eager participant in my family’s shared faith life. Still, as we met refugee families from Laos and Vietnam, my sister and I learned the importance of caring for people who are vulnerable and experienced the joy of learning about and building relationships with people from other cultures. There was never a question in my family about turning away from someone else’s suffering or ignoring need.

Because we often received both material and relational gifts from families in our community, I learned that true relationships must be mutual. These early lessons undoubtedly fashioned me for a life of seeking after justice.

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise. Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:4–9)

Despite my reticence, my parents’ devotion to their faith practices encouraged me in my own faith, and eventually, as I grew older, I began to engage with my father—who was also my pastor—in conversations about God and the Bible. As our resident pastor, my father was the authority on all things related to God. Even though my critical thinking skills were well-tuned and even though I went on to major in religion in college, until just a few years ago, I listened to my father’s sermons and believed what he said without question.
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