Fertility is a broad subject. Since we can't discuss every aspect of this topic, we've started the conversation by focusing on three:  the choice to be childfree, adoption, and unplanned pregnancy.

“God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply’”

These are familiar words found in the very first chapter in the first book of the Bible. These are the words spoken to Adam and Eve. Children are crucial to the Bible. The Bible speaks of the pain of not being able to have children, such as the story of Abraham and Sarah. It speaks of the miracle of unexpected children, such as when Sarah did bear a child named Isaac, and Mary, a virgin, learned of her pregnancy with Jesus.

Children play an important role throughout the biblical story and it seems that there is instruction in many parts of the Bible to “be fruitful and multiply,” even to the animals of the earth (Genesis 1:21–22). But, what about women who choose to not have children? And more importantly, why is it anyone’s business if a woman intends to have a child or not? Are those women who don’t have children still living as God intended?

Sonia, 40, is a Lutheran woman who made the decision to not have children. “It was never an internal debate; I guess I just wasn’t born with the gene that made me want to have kids,” said Sonia.

“To be a mother is just too important to not have a burning desire to do so,” she continued.

When talking about her life in her congregation in Park Ridge, Ill., she says she often feels like an outcast because church is a place that is very family-oriented.

“People bring their children and talk about their children—it doesn’t seem for women my age that there is anything else to talk about,” she says.

And when it comes to interacting with other people’s kids, such as youth lock-ins and as a chaperone, parents often tell her “you just don’t under-stand.” She goes on to say, “The thing that bothers me most about that statement is that it's always some sort of condemnation. The tone of voice always sounds like there are accusations and name-calling behind it.”

In fact, she has been “black-listed” from chaperoning high school events since the time she sent a misbehaving child home.

Other women have also felt as though they are being judged for their choice. Annie, 30, said that when it is mentioned that she is childfree and has no intention of having any, people often say, “Well, you will change your mind.”

“Who will take care of you when you are older?” is a question that often faces Heather, 35. “I’ve tried explaining that my friends will take care of me. However, people often respond negatively to that. But, they don’t know what kind of friends I have.”

“People look at me like I am cross-eyed, like I have malfunctioned in some sort of way,” said Janelle, 30.

Women who choose to live childfree do not always make that choice because they do not like children. Laura S. Scott, author of Two is Enough: A Couple’s Guide to Living Childless by Choice, surveyed 171 self-selected, voluntarily childfree individuals and found the following were the six most cited motivations to not have a child:

I love our life, our relationship, as it is, and having a child won’t enhance it.

I value freedom and independence.

I don't want to take on the responsibility of raising a child.

I have no desire to have a child, no maternal instinct. I Want to accomplish/experience things in life that would be difficult to do if I were a parent.

I want to focus my time and energy on my own interest, needs, or goals.

In a time when infertility issues are often highlighted in the media, and when so many children are parentless from war, disease, and famine, why would someone judge this decision in such negative ways? In fact, it could be argued that these women are helping to create a sustainable society for those who do have children.

In 1999, the global population hit 6 billion people, which is double what it was in 1960. The world has seen the detrimental effects of over population: deforestation, hunger, climate change, war, and pollution. There is a strain on the earth’s resources due to our ever-growing population.

While the Bible gives instruction to humans to be fruitful and multiply, there are just as many passages about caring for the hungry, sick, and homeless. The world needs to see women who choose to live childfree as caring for the neighbor. They will help to make a better, more sustainable world for those of us who do. And remember the words in Deuteronomy 1:17: “You must not be partial in judging: hear out the small and the great alike; you shall not be intimidated by anyone, for the judgment is God’s.”

Katharine English works at the ELCA churchwide offices in the Church in Society program unit. She and her husband, Philip, live in Chicago, Ill., and someday hope to have children—just please don't ask her when.

Next page: "You are mine: Infertility and adoption" by Sarah Scherschligt and "Unplanned joy" by Laura Jones.