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I stepped off the plane. Surrounded by a sea of unfamiliar faces and bombarded by the foreignness of it all, I stumbled to the baggage claim. I was just about to cry when . . . there he was. On time. Early, even. Standing there, waiting to find me. I have never been happier to see him.

To get you into and out of any number of crazy situations, like the time we got a flat tire on the side of a mountain in a foreign country and we still had fun.

I am not by nature a risk-taker, yet through Kevin’s encouragement and my travels with him, I have travel stories that rival those of any explorer. On a trip to Costa Rica, Kevin suggested taking a “shortcut” that involved driving over dilapidated bridges and through raging rivers. A short time later, predictably, we had a flat tire. And it was almost nightfall.

Yet he got us out of that predicament, as I always trust he will. As a result, I have seen some of the most beautiful scenery and have met some of the most interesting people. I’ve had great adventures. And even when there isn’t an adventure, Kevin makes life fun. I would rather be stuck in the middle of nowhere with him than somewhere spectacular with anyone else.

To laugh with you during a ridiculously long childbirth class, and cry with you during the ridiculously long childbirth.

After many years of traveling, we took the plunge into another kind of adventure — parenthood. In preparation, we took a four-week, ridiculously long childbirth class. Fortunately, Kevin decided he was there to provide comic relief. As we were practicing relaxation techniques, he said something that made me start to giggle. And the harder I tried not to laugh, the more funny it seemed. My giggle grew into a full-body belly laugh, which only made both of us laugh harder. We were almost kicked out of the childbirth class.

But when push came to shove, literally, during delivery, he was dead serious. It was a difficult labor. He stood by my bedside, holding my hand and watching the machines with a fierce concentration. During one quiet moment in the middle of the night, he turned to me with tears in his eyes and said, “You are so brave.” That gave me the chance to cry, which was exactly what I needed before gathering my strength for the last long push.

To change the poopy diaper that comes dangerously close to putting you over the edge.

During the first few months after our daughter was born, I craved sleep the way I imagine one might crave an addictive drug. Kevin got up during the night to help for many weeks, but eventually it caught up with him too. We both agreed that since I was on maternity leave (and could theoretically nap during the day), I would be on full baby duty on weeknights. One night at 4 a.m. when I realized that our daughter had yet another explosive diaper, I nearly broke down in tears. I stood there paralyzed, marveling at the mess. As I silently debated whether to start a bath or run away, Kevin appeared out of the darkness. My knight in shining armor. He took over cleaning up Rachel, and I went back to sleep. He could not have given me a better gift. No piece of jewelry, no trip to the Bahamas, nothing would have been more valuable.

There is one more vow that runs through all the others.

I promise to show you God’s love.

Every day in our marriage, I see the abstract beauty of love put into concrete action. The way we love one another, the very actions we do, reveal God’s love. Sometimes when it feels like God’s love for us is distant or hard to understand, it becomes easier when God shows up in our marriage. How better can I comprehend God’s promise to find us (Luke 15:4–7) than my experience of feeling lost in Shanghai and found at baggage claim? I understand how to trust Jesus (John 14:1) even though I don’t know what lies ahead, because of our travels and especially because of the bumps in the road. I have now seen how God can renew our strength (Isaiah 40:31), especially during difficult births, and that God intends for us to help each other (Matthew 25:44), especially when one is in need (or extremely sleep-deprived).

Perhaps these new vows about flat tires or dirty diapers aren’t beautiful or poetic, but the promises are real. And so is the love that is revealed every day.

Tiffany L. Tibbs lives in St. Louis, Missouri, with her husband and their two children. She attended Valparaiso University and obtained her Ph.D. from Washington University.

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Faith reflections by Rachel Bass

Visit the study page for ideas for discussion and further reflection.

I’ve been told that the original purpose of bridesmaids was to serve as decoys for any demonic spirits seeking to get at the bride. Thus bridesmaids wear matching dresses: to throw Satan a little off course.

I’m not sure that purpose resonates today — so if not to undermine the devil, what is the point of a bridesmaid? I think the Bible gives us some clues.

We often criticize ancient cultures for separating men and women, and that critique can be appropriate. But then there are times when I think our judgment is misguided and we could actually grow and flourish a bit if we adopted some of those archaic ways.

Women throughout the Bible were bound together to support and encourage each other. They needed each other to be able to feed their families, protect their children, and simply get by, day to day. It seems only obvious, then, that those women with whom you are bound would stand with you at your wedding, to continue to care for and protect you.

I imagine these ancient bonds among women were easily maintained after marriage because the social divisions between men and women were still significant. But we modern people tend to prioritize the social merging of men and women to such a degree that those same-gender bonds simply are no more. And to what end? So that we have to watch Oprah to fill our daily need to be with other women in meaningful ways? Whether we are married or not, the life-giving bonds among women can easily get lost behind the cultural priority of social equality, of undoing that archaic separation of the genders.

Maybe modern women like ourselves need bridesmaids in our lives to remind us of that tremendous bond of sisterhood that wards off evil spirits and protects us from all harm. Maybe the purpose of bridesmaids is to make visible the protection, encouragement, and support of one another even, and especially, through marriage.

When Mary was told that she would give birth to the Son of God, the Bible tells us that she “set out and went with haste” to see her cousin, Elizabeth.

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