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Body
beloved (con'td)
So must it be
for me. I have to see my body through the same loving
mother’s eyes, forgiving areas of blotchy skin tone and
skipping over the stretch marks. And I wonder: Maybe
what Paul is telling us in the letter to the Philippians
is that he gets it — the loathing, the self-doubt, the
pointless personal criticisms.
When I reflect
on what I wrote at the beginning of this piece
—“replaced by something that will defy even the best
human imaginings” — I realize that perhaps in Christ,
the transformation of our bodies will really be more of
a moment of clarity. Maybe we’ll realize that if we’re
happy, healthy, and caring for these bodies we’ve been
given, their glory will be revealed to us.
Tips for
hanging up your body hang-ups
1. Set an
example. Regardless of the number on the scale,
people admire women who dress for their shape and body
type, wear their hair in a style that suits them, and
apply makeup to enhance their natural attributes.
Develop your signature style and remember that the only
person who knows the number printed on the size label is
you.
2. Don’t
make assumptions. We often believe that others judge
us based on our appearance. This is somewhat true, but
we contribute to this when we feed into this assumption.
It is possible to teach others how to treat us: Enter
each situation with confidence, and you’ll earn respect.
3. Nip
negativity. Don’t give voice to concerns over those
ten pounds you want to lose, fat thighs, or wobbly
triceps. For every body part that gives you a headache,
there are likely two that you love. If you want to make
a realistic change, exercise and be proactive with your
energy!
4. Don’t
settle. Too often, we bargain and make choices
because we don’t place the right value on ourselves.
Treat your body well, and it will reward you.
5. Teach.
When you hear girls and women bemoaning their physical
flaws, reverse the trend by saying something positive
about them.
6. Get to
know yourself. If you don’t have a full-length
mirror in your home, get one. Look at yourself in it
often. Note what cuts of clothing flatter you. Check out
the rear view often and like what you see.
7. Be
grateful. If you’ve gained ten pounds, cut your
bangs too short, or skipped your workout twice this
week, remember you’re still in the game. Every day is a
chance to get it right—a chance others may not have. It
may sound trite, but it’s true.
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My soul will be satisfied as
with the rich feast,
and my mouth praises you with joyful lips.
Psalm 63:5
People often make Lenten commitments related to food.
Perhaps you or someone you know decided to give up
sugar, chocolate, or caffeine during Lent. Ask yourself:
Did I do this to center my thoughts during this time of
reflection without concern for the body benefits I will
receive? Too often, we use Lent to exorcise our food
anxiety demons. We view Lent as a time to make a change.
It’s upsetting to hear that someone doesn’t have time to
stop for food or forgets to eat. This is a product of
our grab-and-go society, and we fail to remember that
food is often scarce in much of the world. To be too
busy too eat is to overlook food’s sacredness.
As a lover of a good meal accompanied by great
conversation, I consider the breaking of bread and the
fellowship of the meal always and forever holy. To
relegate the meal to a chore is to disregard this
ancient, spiritual covenant with God. Too often when we
count calories, fat, and carbs, we sacrifice taste,
quality, and satisfaction, turning the ritual of eating
into a math problem. Might this be the real reason we
rush through meals?
Women are often told that eating slowly and chewing each
bite carefully aids weight loss. However, there is a
deeper, far more spiritual reason to slow down and savor
each bite: Every meal — whether it’s a bowl of oatmeal
or a four-course dinner — is a sacred gift to be
cherished.
Take action this month
To get back on track with loving your body,
here's an idea for each week in March.
Regain your grateful relationship with food; recapture
the attitude that the meal is about sustenance and
thankfulness. It is the hope and promise of enduring
faith. As you eat, reflect on the flavor, texture, and
meaning of each bite.
Stop buying magazines that help set an unrealistic
standard for physical fitness and beauty or only reflect
the beauty of one race or ethnicity as the standard.
This includes tabloids that track the weight of female
celebrities and laud stars who lose baby weight within
weeks of giving birth.
Accept compliments. It’s hard to give a compliment, so
realize they’re usually heartfelt. The least you can do
is say, “thank you.” Avoid the urge to shrug the
compliment off as undeserved.
Find a smooth stone that fits in the palm of your hand.
Take a permanent marker and write your name in large,
beautiful letters on the front of the stone. On the back
of the stone, write at least three positive attributes
you possess. For example, you might write confident and
warm hearted. Display the rock in a place where you
spend a lot of time. You could also reflect on a woman
in your life and make her a stone that highlights her
positive attributes.
Karris Golden is a
speaker, writer, and poet who lives in Iowa with her
husband and daughter. She writes for Café and
Lutheran Woman Today magazine.
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Visit the
study
page for ideas for discussion and further
reflection.
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There are oodles and oodles of tragic reasons we perceive that
something is wrong with parts of our bodies or the sum of the parts.
It is easy — and not completely wrong — to blame the magazines with
those skinny women on the covers, though I really doubt many of us
use them as actual standards of beauty for our own lives. I think we
each hold a unique frame of reference inside our minds, and that
it’s a standard of beauty that doesn’t actually exist anywhere else.
It’s a hodgepodge of attractive body parts we have seen on others
that we think put together would make the right body — kind of
like Mr. Potato Head. Wouldn’t that be pretty?
How will we ever look
at our body and recognize it as a body, with parts that function for
the sole purpose of bringing us to life?
Your body was made with love, thoughtfulness, and intention. Your
elbow isn’t wrong for being a little knobby — that’s what makes it
such an ideal place to bend your arm. It is right and good, just
like the rest of you.
Psalm 139 sings of the
absolute wonder of God’s creation of our bodies: “For it was you who
formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I
praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are
your works; that I know very well.”
It is easy to focus on
specific parts of our body that we find less than satisfactory, like
my friend and her stomach or me and my hair. We critique and condemn
our bodies quickly, based on our motley collection of images of
beauty.
What if we focused on
the parts of our body that bring us alive? What if we focused not on
the appearances of our assembled parts but on the love with which we
know we were created by God? What if we actually treasured all the
remarkable distinctions and unique styles of body that God has
created, each a one-of-a-kind, uniquely perfect miracle that could
never be duplicated?
For now, maybe it is enough to be grateful for life. Then,
intentionally (and maybe with the help of a trusted friend,
therapist, or pastor), pray about who you were created to become in
body. What does that God-given body feel like on the inside? How
does it “work”? How do your mind and spirit also transform this
God-given body?
You are fearfully and
wonderfully made. Trust that your lovely frame was not hidden from
God when you were being made in secret, intricately woven in the
depths of the earth. God’s eyes beheld your unformed substance. You
are fearfully and wonderfully made; blessed, beloved, and beautiful
child of God.
Rachel Bass is the
pastor at St. Andrews Church and the Lutheran Campus Center at the University of Illinois,
Champaign-Urbana.
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When you and your friends, classmates, or co-workers meet to
discuss this issue of Café, try out the questions for
reflection on our new study
page.
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