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I know I am ready for it.
There are times when my loneliness hurts physically, and
I am restless. It would be easy just to emotionally and
physically connect with the next available person for
the sake of ending that loneliness. But that would be
hurtful to me and to the other person, because it
devalues me and my relationship with myself, and the other person. During the lonely times my faith
becomes an important touchstone in reminding me that God
loves and values me. My church family gives important
support and encouragement for keeping my commitments to
myself and God.
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Looking to add value to your life?
It doesn’t come from
dating and marriage, but comes first from your
relationship with God and yourself. These attitudes will
ultimately benefit any relationship you have.
1. Be open. Take the time and opportunity to grow. Learn
about yourself and the world.
2. Discern your values. Work on the things
that matter to you.
3. Accept yourself. Learn to create and value your own happiness. You can grow emotionally.
4. Eliminate the baggage. Clean up the
clutter in your world. Forgive yourself and others.
5. Be ready. Be open to new relationships.
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As I reflect on who I am,
and see the things that I appreciate about myself or
want to change in myself, I have become able to connect
more deeply with others. As I trust myself more, I am
clearer on what kind of partner would best complement me
to serve God and the world, and live abundantly.
Adding the other “one”
My explorations into Internet dating led me to do
some hard work, and it has made me a better person.
The work I did to find a new
meaningful job is the same type of work required
to find someone to build a lifelong partnership with. As
in my job search, I learned that it was important to
understand myself and know what sorts of things were not
negotiable. Faith helps me to determine my values and
live them. When we attempt to merge our lives with
another's, faith must become a conscious factor.
We
can use the work we have done
as single women, or what we have learned from others in
our lives, to determine our values and non-negotiables.
We keep our values firm, and do not compromise. For
example, as a person of faith, it would be
counter-productive and hurtful for me to develop a
romantic relationship with someone who did not believe
in God. Hurtful for me and for him. I shouldn’t expect
to change another person. After the non-negotiable
principles are met, however, we need to be
flexible. No list we make will have a perfect match, and
we might end up alone, disappointed, or disillusioned.
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