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As a single person, what's the ideal faith/spirituality profile you're looking for in a mate? How does your mate measure up to what you think you need, spiritually/religiously?
Thank you for publishing such a marvelous article. Dawn Hansen's point about the development of self is so important. If it is a long-term romantic relationship you seek, one of the most helpful things you can do is work on yourself—value yourself and take care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Eat well and exercise. Dive in and work on your issues. Deepen your faith practices. Seek wholeness. It is only then that you can attract a person with whom you can develop a healthy relationship and continue to grow.
I would also like to highlight Hansen's point about there being no preordained mate out there for each person. Many Christians harbor the delusion that God has already chosen their spouse for them and all they have to do is pray about it and “poof” they will appear. This is not a helpful notion. We don't believe God makes other choices for us—but rather gives us free will and the Spirit to guide us. So why would God not give us free will when it comes to relationships? Indeed, God does leave the choice to us and that is why we must take responsibility for our own lives and be as healthy as we can be so that we can make sound choices when it comes to remaining single, dating or marrying.
Posted by: Laura Gentry (Lansing, IA)
Posted: 6/27/2006 11:55:11 AM
Congregation: Our Savior's Lutheran
I REALLY enjoyed this issue. I was reminded of about how one and half years into my marriage, I was hanging up one of my husbands jackets (getting rid of the wire hangers) when a tiny booklet peeked out of his pocket. It was one of those small “how to” books you see at so many check-out counters, you know the kind that you could buy (way back then) for less than a buck. And its title was "How to Keep Your Wife Happy." Well, that was so dear to me that I almost wept because the truth is, we were still very much newlyweds and I couldn’t imagine such a little book helping him a bit; yet, he was not taking anything for granted and was obviously "doing his homework." How sweet was that?!!
The truth is our faith is the most important thing my husband and I share; we have always believed God had a hand in our coming together. We also believe we are supposed to be contributing to making the world a better place and we consider our two daughters our two best efforts. In addition, we have spent our professional careers serving others and trying to bring about positive changes; it hasn't brought us fame or fortune but it has brought us undisturbed sleep, a loving and peaceful home, and the ability to look at each other with sincere affection, true respect, and continued expectation for God to be active within and through our relationship with each other. Your writers couldn't be more on target! God comes first for each of us because God is more than our best friend, more than our lover; yet, we see God in each other.
Posted by: Inez Torres Davis (Berkeley, IL)
Posted: 6/26/2006 2:58:10 PM
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Make a difference
What have you done to support
the relief efforts for survivors of Hurricanes Katrina and
Rita? Here is your opportunity to give through Women of the
ELCA.
Why give through Women of the ELCA?
Because 100% of your donation will go directly to ELCA
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By sending your contribution through Women of the ELCA,
collectively we can show the contribution women make to the relief efforts of the church.
Please send your check or money order
to:
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Write "hurricane relief" in the memo portion of your check.
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