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Kristy Buyok, 32, a mother of two, balances caring for
her family with school work. Like Kärin and Victoria,
Kristy’s own needs sometimes shift to the bottom of her
“to-do” list.
“But I’ve found ways to
incorporate my needs into my other responsibilities,”
she says. “For example, instead of studying alone in the
library and depending entirely on myself, I study with
friends. That way while I’m studying, I’m also
socializing and enjoying myself. Instead of taking a
quick shower when I’m particularly stressed, I opt for a
hot bath, even if it has to be a quick one.”
The key is prioritizing. Say
no and mean it. It’s better to be realistic and know
your limits than to commit to projects that you will
struggle to do or know you can’t complete on time. But
if you simply can’t say no, say yes only if someone will
help you on the project.
Kristy also understands the
power of a loving partner. Her husband, Ernie, helps
with childcare duties, and she trusts him to do things
his way.
Ernie’s help gives Kristy
time to clear her mind. “If I feel like I need it, I
take time for silence. I go to the library and read a
book that has nothing to do with studying. I also take
time to pray in silence after everyone in my house is
asleep for the night.”
Kristy’s peaceful balance
was hard won. For five years, she worked as a field
sales manager for a large corporation.
It was unfulfilling work. “I
always felt that I wanted to do something that really
mattered,” she recalls.
At the time, Kristy was
active at St. Luke Lutheran Church in Beckley, W. Va.,
and considered switching careers. “I couldn’t imagine
giving up my family’s source of income to go back to
school,” she explains. “When my position was eliminated
just before Christmas 2004, I felt like God was trying
to tell me something.”
Yet the message didn’t
register; Kristy instead moved to Georgia for a new job.
God kept calling. After several tough choices and
another move, Kristy is now pursuing a master of
divinity degree at Lutheran Theological Southern
Seminary in Columbia, S.C.
“It was something I had
thought of for years, but I always felt like I could never
find a way to give up our family income to go back to
school. God found a way,” says Kristy.
God stepped in on Victoria’s behalf, too. In September
2004, her home flooded in the aftermath of Hurricane
Ivan. Colleagues and friends from Sharon Lutheran Church offered help as she worked to maintain a sense of
normality.
“So much of my stress in the
last year and a half has centered on rebuilding a
household. It’s a long process, but I learned that by
trusting in God to provide for you, everything comes
together in due time,” she explains. “Believing in an
all-loving, all-powerful God that brings together a
family of believers to rely upon for support and
inspiration when times get tough is an incredibly
comforting feeling.”
Uncertainty brought Kristy
similar insights. Returning to school adds to the
anxiety of balancing family and self, she explains. Kristy’s top priorities are
her children, Kailyn, 7, and Evan, 2. She’s also sure
seminary was the right choice.
She firmly believes God
wouldn’t give her more than she can handle. “My favorite
time of the week is Sunday morning when I serve in my
field church, St. Peter’s in Lexington, S.C. It is
wonderful to be reminded why I am in seminary. I
almost always take advantage of Southern Seminary’s
chapel time to re-center and focus on why I'm doing all
of this. It is very helpful to know that no matter how
stressful any of this gets, I was asked to take up my
cross and follow Jesus. I’m doing what I was asked to
do. My cross is much lighter than his.”
Writer Karris Golden lives in Iowa.
Her weekly column, "On Faith," appears in the
Waterloo-Cedar Falls (Iowa) Courier.
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